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x x x x
entries,
words from the mouth and mind
BEAUTIFUL PAIN.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010 Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I may look perfect in the outside but inside, i'm breaking to pieces little by little. you would always see me with a smile on my face, but if you really knew me, everything that i put out in public is all fake. you may think im the happiest person on earth, but if you look me in the eye, you would know how much pain i'm hiding. the way I act in public is not how I really act when i'm alone. i stopped fighting for you cause i noticed that there's really nothing to be fighting for when all your focus is already on another girl.

well this is awkward.
dear you,

there are so many things i could say to you, but none of them will be able to even get close to how happy and grateful i am to know you before. the things you told me before, they make me feel so, so, so, so special and they just mean so very much to me. knowing you isn’t enough, nothing will ever be enough to tell you just how much i appreciate everything you've done before. i miss you.

What a bad day felt like right?.

when i used to have bad days, i would have REAL bad days. days where i would intentional hurt myself, like punching or scratching myself. days where i would always cry, wake up and go to school, sleep in school, and then go home and cry and sleep the rest of the day and night away. when i didn’t want to see or talk to anyone and when i didn’t want to get out of bed or do my hair or my make up, or hell, even want to change my clothes. days where i felt like no one in this world needed me or even cared what i was going through and when i felt like if i were to leave this world, no one would really know. i could just slip out of this world, unnoticed. i could just fade away . those days where i felt this world would be better off without me. now those, were the worst days of my life. sometymes i still feel like this, and i still feel like i don’t belong on this thing called, “Earth.”

I JUST WISH, FOR MY OLD LIFE ):

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