I sit here crying and you know what I’m realizing? That it’s okay to cry, because I lost something that I really cared about, something that I’m not too sure I can ever get back. But i need to be strong.

Hey boy , after i know yuu change, i know theres something wrong with you . maybe your love is fading, maybe you dont need me in your life anymore accept for your friends. But hey , my thoughts was wrong. i was totally wrong when i get to know you love my own bestfriend. you know what ? im shocked. totally shocking. i tot you're not the same as other guys out there. i tot we could last. i tot this is what call true love. but im wrong. & fyi , i cry when i type all this okay.

i know from the strt im not your good girlfriend. im a bad bad girlfriend. but at least i try to be a best girlfriend for you. maybe i fail ? i guess so. if that what you think , im sorry okay ? do you know it hurt when yuu contacting my own bestfriend ? do you know it hurts when you say you love her ? do you know it hurts when she ask you whether you still love me & you reply "i dont know ?" do you know it more hurts when you top up for her pprd card ? 15$$$ ?!?!?!?! where you get that so much money ? after all this tyme when im with you , you always tell me you dont have money , your budget was down. you lazy wanna work. you cant ask your mum for money cause she wont give you. but now what ? you sacrifise your money to topup for her, but not for me ? you sacrifise everything for her when you just know her. but me ? im being with you for 7 month plus but what i get from you ? A HEART BREAK. you hurt me almost everyday. did yuu ever top up for me when my pprd was low ? did yuu ever buy for me something when my birthday is coming ? did you ever treat me to watch movie together ? NO. but me ? i sacrifise my tyme for you. i treat you movie, i bought for you clothes, i give you money when you needed, i bought for you a ring/necklace. but then you show your sacrifising to her , not me. why ?!!??!?!

when you say to her "sayang tu sayang cuma i tkt u mainkan perasaan i je." what's your motive ?! i heard all those conversation with you & her kay. i know maybe people will think she at fault too for contacting you back but at least she tell me the truth . but you ? my own boyfriend did this to me behind my back . why fydy why ? am i that bad for you ?

i know i shouted at you when im angry. like you told her , i always uat pangai at you. but think back , if you didnt hurt me , you didnt lie to me , i wont be angry/shouted at you. not even once. what's your motive for being with me ? am i your bitch ?!?! tell me ! i still remembered you say "you , i nak tdo uhh." when actually its only 11 plus pm. you always otf with me till late night but i get to know you call her every night . EVERY NIGHT YOU KNOW ! & you make me like a doll didnt know all this ?

i didnt expected you to did this. not even once to think you gonna treat me & hurt me like this. it's like a dream but you just did it. why ? tell me . after all this , you know it was just a trick from her , than you wanna regret everything ? than now yuu wanna msg me you still love me ? i know you're just a sweet talk. kao kate kao sayang dher , skg kao kate kao sayang ako plak. you wanna make a fool of me again ?

you told her that you had a crush on her when you both first met. but i still remember when the ferst tyme i meet her , i told you this "you , ____ lawa tawu." then you reply "dher lawa sngt ke ?" than sapppp !!! things getting like this. you told me this before "check2 u masuk skola ite mp you yang jatuh kat laki sane." BUT the school not even started & you did this to me. you didnt call me last two night at all. AT ALL. i did waited for you to call me , but you didnt. you just msg me saying you not going to ecp. why fydy why ? why yuu did this to me ? yuu know im crying like hell now. LIKE HELL ! i tot we could last. if only you never did this , if only yuu never contact her & say you love her , things not going to be like this. we could celebrate our 8 months going to be but its end. totally end & im not gonna get back to you after what you have done to me. yes , i can forgive you but i wont forget this fcuking thing.

even i know i miss my ex , i never contact hym . i never tell hym i still love hym. i never even do that. even i contact another guy , i never fall for them , i know my limits fydy. but you just break the trust i give you. now whus fault ? me or you ?

im not going to talk much. but one thing i want you to know , if only i know you gonna did this to me from the strt , i would probably contact with all the guys & let them be my scandal. thnks fydy for all the memories. thnks for everything. make those gift i gave you as a memories. i wont turn back after this. cos i know once you did this to me , many tymes you gonna did the same old thing. by monday, im gonna strt a fresh. you'll be my stranger after this. be happy with your life. im not important at all , she's important. ini lah lelaki , tk leh ngk pmpn lawa. but whatever it is , i get to know the truth.